A STATE OF RAVE - BEING PRESENT, BEING SEEN & DANCING IN BETWEEN

I want to barely see anything.  The glimpse that I catch is hopefully a flash of some other nocturnal creature, the whites of their eyes staring back at me like two beams in the dark, baring their teeth.  Something primal as the drum rumbles and echoes in my head. 

Whatever you do, don’t pull out your phone on the dance floor.  The set is peaking and the blinding screen just reminded me of my roommate telling me my cat died over text.  This is the time to be somewhere else - out of focus and far away from the ghosts in my devices.

They come back to haunt me nonetheless as I step out into the courtyard - I check my phone, my friends are waiting for me. I feel the cold across my exposed neck, rummaging through my pockets for a lighter and the last of my cigarettes.  Groups converge along the walls with the few available space heaters.  The bass of the kick drum inside gently rattles my chest as I take drags absently and scan the crowd. 

Someone with an accent approaches me and asks for a light, their jaw clenched and pupils bulging. I can tell they could really use a chat. They’re visiting for a few weeks. They tell me they love techno and heard that this was the place to go in the city. We end up talking at length about everything - our pasts, our dreams, relationships, dive bars and foodie spots. Eventually their friends join and they beckon us back inside as the next set begins.

This set is hypnotic. The changes in energy and tempo are woven with subtlety and the tension balances on the edge of a knife. Stiff apathy turns into controlled chaos.  I’m convinced my new friend has lost control of their limbs.  An elf bar mysteriously appears in front of me from a welcoming hand in my periphery.  At this point all bets are off. I take a deep inhale of Mango ™ standing directly under the fog machine. Time and space are lost in the fumes.

I come out of my trance to find my new friends have evaporated along with the smoke.  I instinctively reach into my pocket to check the time and see if they left me a message.  The screen doesn’t light up, a low battery icon idling bleakly.  Strangely, I feel a sense of relief.  I grab my jacket at coat check and step out into the night.